Texting Need Your Therapist Funny Meme
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I love watching my therapist try to pretend he knows who I'm talking about when clearly he's forgotten the whole backstory.
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ME: I just feel like "pizza party" should refer to pizzas having a party. Humans having pizza at a party should just be a party with pizza. Does that make sense to you? THERAPIST: I think we should meet more often
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therapist: why don't you tell people when they hurt you instead of pushing them away without an opportunity to show you if they care enough about you to change their behavior me: https://t.co/wXlB5IEFt2
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Therapist: Your mother is so overprotective she is the cause of your issues connecting to women emotionally Me: Well yo mama so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew
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Therapist: I'll see you next Monday? Me: For sure. Therapist: Okay, talk then. *leaves office* *two minutes pass* *opens phone and texts therapist: should I get bangs?*
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Therapist: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health Me:[finger guns] That's why I also bottle up the positive ones
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If I cover myself with 10 weighted blankets at all times can I finally stop going to therapy
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Therapist: Let's talk about your treatment and self care plan Me: Face... mask Therapist: That's not a legitimate form of- Me: ʞsɐɯ ǝɔɐℲ Therapist: We talked about this it's a distraction that feeds off consumerism and the internalized value of appearance Me: ʄǟƈɛ ʍǟֆӄ :)
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therapist: you have PTSD me: hell yeah I have PTSD: Proficient Talent for Sucking DICK lmao therapist: maybe we can talk about your use of humor as an unhealthy coping mechanism for the trauma you've experienced me: Sheryl, I don't think you understand how clever that joke was
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me to my therapist: so i told everyone at brunch, "that baby has TERF bangs" and i tweeted about it afterward and it did pretty well it got like 20-something likes i think my therapist: *writing "INSANE ????????" on notepad*
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Me en route to therapy: I don't think I have anything to talk about. Maybe I should stop going Me, at therapy:
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Therapist: so you asked him out Me: well no, but see yesterday he liked my photo and today I liked his photo and then he rt'd my tweet and Therapist: I cant handle this
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me: cant wait to bring this up in therapy later *later in therapy* therapist: how are you doing? me: im doing great! haha im so great what's up with u? u good too? nice
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Therapist: what's wrong Me: what if we spend our whole lives not believing in ghosts just to become a ghost that we desperately want someone to believe in Therapist: *schedules an appointment with another therapist*
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Trying to be honest with my therapist but not so honest that I get involuntarily hospitalized
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me telling my therapist all my traumas and how wrong my life is going vs me making jokes about that traumas and ignoring them.
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Me: I used to get joy from twitter but now it makes me upset. Therapist: what if you just didn't use it anymore? Me: not sure I understand
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me to my therapist: so i told everyone at brunch, "that baby has TERF bangs" and i tweeted about it afterward and it did pretty well it got like 20-something likes i think my therapist: *writing "INSANE ????????" on notepad*
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Therapist: It seems like you have a problem with projecting your feelings onto others. Me: No, I don't. You're the one with the problem.
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i can't even complain about therapy not working bc i never listen to any of my therapist's advice
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One day it was like I just woke up, and Bugles wouldn't fit on my fingertips anymore. So I had to eat them like a grown-up. Therapist: ...
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I came back to Twitter for the humor, or as my therapist calls it, "reliving my trauma".
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me: i hate everything and want to die him: we all hate everything and want to die, you're not special me: wow ok you're a terrible therapist him: dude i'm not your therapist and my manager says i can't sell you "as many big macs as we can possibly make"
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Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/laraparker/therapy-tweets-funny
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